


Kate's Decisions

by MariaWhite



Series: "I hope we meet again so I can invite you out for coffee…" [2]
Category: Yuppie Psycho (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Confrontation, Death Wish, Emotionally Repressed, F/M, False Identity, Guilt, Happy Ending, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Issues, Identity Reveal, Injury Recovery, Isolation, Loss of Identity, Medical Examination, Medical Inaccuracies, Memory Loss, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, Physical Disability, Possibly Out of Character, Reconciliation, Redemption, References to Depression, Rescue, Rescue Mission, Self-Discovery, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:22:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29041578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MariaWhite/pseuds/MariaWhite
Summary: Brian didn't make it out of Human Resources.Kate is determined to save Brian from the lair of the witch.She made her own decisions.And she will do everything possible at all costs in order to save him.
Relationships: Kate Hicks/Brian Pasternak
Series: "I hope we meet again so I can invite you out for coffee…" [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2142294
Comments: 3





	1. Post Transfer Application

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [凯特的决定 Kate's Decisions](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28690296) by [MariaWhite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MariaWhite/pseuds/MariaWhite). 



> I am on it now as promised!  
> This is not only a fan fiction work I am most satisfied with, it is also a creation that helped myself to rediscover and redeem myself.  
> So this work really means a lot to me personally speaking.  
> I love the story I told about Kate and Brian here, and in the end it kind of became a summary of my own life during the past ten years.  
> I am so happy that I found myself again, and the start of it was marked by this work of fiction.  
> And that is why I feel it necessary to translate it into English so people from all over the world can read it.  
> I am trying my best to convey what I was trying to express when I was writing the original Chinese version. For some reason I still haven't found a beta-reader yet...so I would really appreciate it if anyone offers to help!

Kate crouched down below the desk, but not for hiding from danger this time.

She had got work to do.

She was adjusting the cables behind the computer monitor and case by the dim light given off by the glow sticks on the ground.

All she needed was this...and like this...then everything would be done...

And this way she could access to the Sintranet from floor 4 via this new desktop computer with a card reader.

“Phew! Now everything is sorted out!” she returned to her seat after brushing the dust from her suit skirt. She hoped Mr. Doshi’s tricks could work...

She took out an employee ID card of Sintracorp.

But the photo on it wasn’t hers. And the name was not Kate Hicks, either.

That was why Kate knew better than to be seen by others. Despite the computer case was below the desk, still she took great caution not to let the name and photo on the card exposed.

And then her view was merged by the bright neon green light just as before-

It worked-

The green space took shape again around her once more. Despite she had been here before, still she couldn’t hold back her amazement, looking down and feeling the form she took here.

She was not wearing the black woman’s suit that belonged to herself, instead she was all clad in a man’s suit in indigo. She adjusted the red necktie over her chest and the black-framed glasses on her nose that did not actually belonged to her unconsciously. She scratched the back of her head, and touched soft and curly short hair there. She double-checked to make sure there was no glitching in her image, and then walked up to the figure in red in the green 3-Dimension interface casually-

Sintra turned around to face Kate.

“Who are you?”

Kate was taken aback by surprise, stepped back in guilt. “I’m B-Brian Pa-Pasternack? What’s the problem?”

The red outline of Sintra approached her aggressively, her eyes without pupils emitting golden light staring straight into her direction.

“You are not Brian Pasternack. Who are you on earth?”

Kate lowered her head in silence.

She gave no answer. However, she could feel that the indigo suit over her started to crumble and dissolve, showing the original black woman’s suit she was wearing originally, and the pair of glasses that didn’t belong to her disappeared as well.

Apparently, even Mr. Doshi could not manage everything.

Kate was standing in the neon green space of Sintranet, in her own original appearance.

“Kate Hicks, from the Hive of the 4th floor.” Sintra nodded. “Hmm. Very impressive. But why are you doing this?”

“What?”  
  
”This ID card does not belong to you. Where did you get this card? Let me think it over. The 4 log-ins of this month at office E on the 5th floor were all made by you, is it correct? Because it had been a month since the last log-in made by this card when the first log-in of this month was made, and I thought no one would use this card ever again, that was what troubled me. You did not answer me when I asked Pasternack about his work progress routinely, because of course, you were not capable of answering.”

Kate did not talk back. This was the fact she could not deny.

“You made no further communication with me during these recent log-ins, and you were merely searching and comparing the information gathered by the original owner of this ID card and from the digital library...you are an employee from the Hive, on the 4th floor, Kate Hicks. But who on earth are you?”

Kate was at a loss when Sintra asked her something like this, she did not understand the intention of her question. Why did not she just kick her out of the system when she knew that Kate was using Brian’s ID card? Wasn’t that supposed to be one of the functions of Sintra?

“What is your intention? I know that your post is in the Hive of the 4th floor. Yet you apparently know well about the witch, and about the fact that Sintracorp is hiring witch hunters, the witch hunter’s ID card you’re holding said it all. You weren’t hired to deal with the witch, but it seems that you are investigating related things all along. So I am quite curious...why should you be so interested in something that has absolutely nothing to do with you.”

“It’s for Brian.” Kate uttered immediately.

“Brian? You mean Brian Pasternack? The original owner of this ID card?”

“Exactly.” Since Sintra asked her about this, Kate started on it right away, mentioning the two brief occasions and conversations she had with Brian, about how Brian offered to help her, and how Brian failed to show up for a very long time, and about later, she found that Brian had been taken by the witch and went through some extremely miserable torment.

“And, that’s why,” Kate spoke firmly. “I must save Brian from wherever he is. When there is still a chance.”

Sintra just stood there in silence. No expression was shown on her metal-made face.

Kate knew what she must say.

“I hope to take over Brian Pasternack’s unfinished job, this job of killing the witch. In order to do that, I, Kate Hicks, am submitting my post transfer application for the witch hunter position. ”

Sintra seemed to be bewildered on hearing this.

“Sintracorp has been recruiting witch hunters over the past few decades. A lot have been on this post yet no one ever managed to finish their task. Most hunters appointed usually only get to know about the details of their missions after starting to actually work at Sintracorp. And an average employee applying for this post in hope to complete this task is...unprecedented and unheard of.”

“Are you really sure about taking over this job? This is a job full of hardship and no one actually succeeded in completing this mission. And this is a post of great risk, its risk is far beyond what an average employee in the Hive takes. Are you really sure about it, Kate Hicks?”

“Yes.” Kate answered briefly. “I am determined.”  
  


Sintra pondered it for a while. “Very well. After completing the mission of killing the witch, as the reward to your work, Sintracorp will...”

Kate shook her head.

“I don’t care about my personal gain from this job, because that has nothing to do with the purpose of my application.”

Sintra stood there, watching her in silence, apparently already knew what she had to say.

“The only purpose I want to take over Brian’s unfinished job from him for, is to save him from the witch. ” Kate said in an indubitable tone. “Therefore, after I finish the required task as a witch hunter, I request for an additional clause to the contract aside from what Sintracorp is going to pay me:

After Brian Pasternack is rescued, Sintracorp will manage any accessible resources to help him recover his health, and bear all the expenses arose therefrom.”

Sintra remained silent for a few seconds.

“Sounds like a reasonable request, Ms. Hicks. Therefore...I hope you can start your work immediately.”


	2. “I know where your feelings are...but...”

“Is everything ready, Kate?” Mr. Doshi put his toolkit full of pockets around his waist, went through every pocket carefully, making sure everything necessary was ready. “Card readers? Adaptor plugs? USB hubs? Blank mag cards? Screwdrivers?...and Kate? Probably you should take a look as well? How many blank cards are you carrying for backup? Do you have enough glow sticks with you? And batteries for the torchlight?”

Beside him, Kate put another similar toolkit around her waist, checking her own pockets as well.

“I’m good,” Kate said, zipping up the final pocket. “Maybe you should take a few more candy bars with you, Mr. Doshi. You can never be too careful after all.” She rearranged her hairstyle and clothes. “After all, you told me about it yourself, it is very dangerous around Security.”

“I’m fine for now.” Doshi patted his own toolkit. “Let’s get moving since we are both ready. I’m not really sure about how many cards we will need to duplicate...and I don’t know the format of the chips they are using here. Anyways, I brought with myself a few every one I could think of. At least five for each format to be safe. And I’ll see if I can do anything about it if shit happens and we don’t have enough.”

Kate nodded towards Doshi.

“I’ll go in there first.” Doshi turned around to face Kate. “There is no need to be sneaky.” He pointed at those monitor cameras rotating non-stop. “They already knew. I am on this floor all day long. It’s nothing, I bet they have even known how many moles I have on my soles long ago. But you see, nothing ever, ever happened to me right?” Doshi spread his hands. “Don’t haste. Wait for my signal.”

Kate nodded, watching Doshi disappearing into the unlocked door.

Moments later, the door opened and Doshi’s hand appeared out of the crack, prompting her forward.

Kate took a deep breath, clasped the toolkit around her waist tighter.

She pushed open the unlocked door, and disappeared into the darkness beyond it.

“Oh that was close, thanks Kate.” Doshi brushed his sweaty forehead and gulped down a can of soda, before crouching down onto the ground to continue with tapping on the keyboard.

“We can search more closely in a while. But I suppose that is all. That sign is being quite specific: ‘Security breaches must be confirmed by 5 members.’ And there are only 5 slots up there, and we didn’t find more dead bodies around here.” Doshi turned to Kate and grimaced, and Kate made a bitter smile.

“And I think it would be for the best to make more copies for these cards. Better safe than sorry.” Kate nodded in agreement.

“You are the professional here,” she said shyly. “I still have a lot to learn.”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to be so modest about it, Kate.” Doshi searched about the dark nooks and crannies with the help of torchlight, trying to find if there were any more electric parts he could put his hands on. “Look at yourself, you are already able to take up the work from so many different departments, and you are doing excellent in every one of them. ” He showed up again from below the desk after making sure there was no more useful things he could find.”If we are lucky enough and ever manage to fix this broken printer from inside, I know you will surely go several levels up. I have faith in you.” Doshi gave Kate a thumbs-up. “Don’t forget your old friend Doshi if you ever take off.”

“Oh, I won’t.” Kate answered, wasn’t sure what she was answering to. She could never forget about Mr. Doshi, but she never thought she could possibly “take off”, and it didn’t matter to her anyway.

She knew what her main focus should be on at the moment.

“We’ll still do it as how we decided when we go into that room, I’ll go in there first and you after me, understand?” Mr. Doshi turned around to Kate again, and told her as he had a million times before.

Kate nodded quickly in affirmation.

“Watch out!” Kate shouted loudly at the last instant before the sharp crimson red light filled up the room she had not stepped into yet.

Mr. Doshi turned around to look at Kate in doubt, but it was already too late.

He fell straightforward into that room full of deadly redness.

Kate stretched out recklessly to tug Mr. Doshi towards outside of the room with everything she had.

Crimson agony was pounding her head fiercely. But she could not give in-she had to-

Crying and howling voice, and banging sound of collision came from afar. And the redness in the room blinked and went out. This was it-

She finally pulled Mr. Doshi’s unconscious body out of the room. She fell over, feeling strength left her body, coughing uncontrollably, bloody red filling up her vision. She struggled in attempt to control her breaths again, and it took her a while to finally regain her usual breathing pace. She tasted metal when she wiped away the slimy wetness around her nose and mouth.

She felt behind her blindly with her hands, trying to get hold of Mr. Doshi’s skin. His skin felt wet and cold, his pulse shallow and fast, and he was breathing rapidly, with his eyes half-closed, seemingly unconscious, but apparently still alive.

Kate felt around the toolkit around her waist, which was already half-empty. She searched through every corner of every pocket in mania yet she couldn’t even find a single candy bar.

Their mission was still unaccomplished.

But Mr. Doshi was at the brink of death.

Maybe, just maybe, Kate could try with all she still had with her to see if there was any possible breakthrough, but she was exhausted in every possible meaning. The odds were definitely against them and if Kate died in there, Mr. Doshi...

She knew their best option now was to retreat. She could tug Mr. Doshi towards beneath the nearest desk slowly, and then they would just hide in there. And then...

She had no clue about what to do next. They could possibly hide out below the closest desk, and what next? What should she do next? Those monitor men patrolling up and down the corridors in the Security were still blocking every possible way out, and how could they move to the next safe zone after they ever managed to get there? And to the next? Kate knew both of them would be dead before they could ever manage to make their way out.

And this could happen at any immediate instant. Kate closed her eyes in despair, salty tears rolled down her eyes, but she could not tell the taste of them anymore.

I’m sorry, Mr. Doshi, for failing to live up to your faith...

I’m sorry, Brian, for failing to save you after everything...

I’m sorry...I’m sorry...

But that was useless. They were going to die here.

And she felt there seemed to be some faint tugging at her jacket. Kate turned around immediately to face Mr. Doshi. By the still shivering death behind that door, Kate could see his eyes were still closed and was still breathing shallowly and rapidly, but she could feel the tugging at her jacket getting stronger and more certain. It seemed he was still conscious, however faint it seemed...

Kate moved closer, trying to figure out what he wanted to let her know.

He patted on his own toolkit gently with the hand that was tugging her.

Kate felt over that kit. It was filled to the brim. She started to zip open every pocket, and apart from the tiny parts and gadgets littered everywhere, almost all of them were packed with food: candy bars, soda, coffee, and even bread slices...

She opened a can of soda immediately, propped Mr. Doshi up, allowing him to swallow down some soda, broke chocolate bars into pieces and fed them to him.

Crimson redness of death was still burning brightly beyond the door. However, Mr. Doshi gasped, his eyes flew open, and finally sat up on his own.

“And you asked me to take a few more candy bars with myself.” Mr. Doshi said jokingly despite still being weak.

“Sorry.”

“No, you don’t need to be sorry...we have been using your supplies all along. We should have made some arrangements about this beforehand. I wasn’t considerate enough to think about that. I don’t think I can go any further for now, take these with you and see what you can find in there. Don’t forget to leave me a soda and let’s get back together later.”

She fastened Mr. Doshi’s toolkit around her waist and opened the gate to the redness of death.

Kate swallowed down her bread. “Definitely.”

Holding her torchlight tightly and carrying the toolkit Mr. Doshi entrusted her, Kate was trying her best to be as swift as she could. She hid and crouched at every path and corner, observing the monitor man’s every move, listening closely to the meaningless poundings and painful howling he made, made her way through all the obstacles and difficulties.

She had to unplug all the wires, and she must turn off that deadly glowing redness.

But to her total surprise, that man was calling to her.

The man who was emitting agony and death from the other end of the room, was calling to her.

“S-so-sorry aaaabout what j-j-just happened...” a sharp crashing sound, and the red glow shimmered and went out for a few seconds. “But I have something to-[TIKI-TAKA]-to-to shoooooooow you-do you want it in 4:3 format or 16:9 format?

“What?” Kate uttered, disbelieving. She had thought this person only intended to kill whatever was alive that came into this room.

“Th-Th-Thank you for disconnecting me...I kn-kn-know you. I know your name. And why you are here-[TIKI-TIKI-TAKA-A]-who-o-o you are here-e-e for-”

Harsh and violent screech. The glowing redness shimmered out again in an anguished wail.

“My-my-my apo-po-logies-”Kate soon realized that those pained crying and smashing were not meaningless at all. That monitor man was standing right there-not just one, but numerous camera monitors glowing lethal crimson all around him, and all the howling and pounding was the noise he made when he was smashing his head into the floor to create chances for her when the redness could go out for just a few seconds.

This unfortunate man was connected to the one thousand camera monitors in the Security.

The information overload had made him go insane.

And the disconnection from when Kate unplugged the wires, was the relief he had always been craving for.

She would be cautious. Despite she had no idea about what he was going to show her, or if there was any meaning to this.

But she would still unplug all the wires.

Finally, the dazzling red light went out. The room fell into gentle dimness.

The countless monitor screens out there were displaying black and white snow noise instead now.

And the monitor man, now kneeing in a pool of his own blood, wavering back and forth.

Kate walked up to him. She was not sure why she was doing this, and she started to realize that she had took some seemingly unnecessary risks, since it looked like she found nothing here.

But that man spoke up.

“I know the reason of what you have always been doing.

You have always been running around the building for a mission that is not supposed to be yours. You have been hurt a million times. And went through all those difficulties.

But you never retreated nor gave up, and solved so many problems with your own wit.

I really enjoyed watching you, being so brave and strong...

And I know your reason. I know who you are doing everything for...

Brian Pasternack.”

Kate’ s eyes widened in shock. She never imagined about hearing his name here.

“I have seen that man not so long ago-he was so vulnerable.

And I remember the faces he made when he was scared. But I’ve also felt sad whenever he got hurt...

And he never ever gave up either. Even when that happened.

He was kind of like you...I understand why you want to do all this for him.

I know what you are trying to look for. The torment he had been through was beyond anyone’s imagination...but I saw it.

That hurts so much, it even made me hurt, I even wished that I never saw those things, but still I recorded everything without even realizing what I was doing...

Those video tapes recorded by the infrared cameras were all around yourself.

Just at this moment we are speaking, he is still under that kind of torture.

How could he possibly make it out, fallen into those hands of hers?”

The numerous monitor screens around her started to flash. The images started to shift.

Kate watched as the monitor screens flashing and shimmering when the footage shots took form.

She saw herself. And she saw Brian.

Seeing them running around by their respective paths, yet for a common reason.

And at that moment.

When Brian just stepped out of Human Resources and was dragging himself along in feeble paces.

When she failed to make him stay, and just let him disappear beyond her sight.

When Brian just entered this building. When he was just taunted by Chapman, and started to talk with her, and when they cheered each other on.

When she parted with Brian before entering the elevator for her interview.

When Brian told her, “Good luck, Kate.”

And when Kate was smiling, and telling him, “I hope we meet again so I can invite you out for coffee...”

Seeing all these scenes made Kate hurt so much. But...she genuinely...

The tears falling from her eyes were tears of happiness.

“I know where your feelings are. But I am still so happy you can come...and I truly hope you manage what you want to. You can do it, Kate. [KILL HER][KILL HER][KILL HER]”

And he died.

And all the monitors in the room went out.

Kate checked the monitor man’s dead body, finding a new video camera in his pocket. She took that away despite it didn’t really matter. And then, she felt around in the dim light and gathered all the tapes she could find, and took them with herself. Her feelings were too complicated to describe, and she didn’t know what to say, but she felt that she probably needed to take a few hours off of her mission, because she had something to do.


	3. Videoclub Misterio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was some mistake in the chapter division of the second chapter, I accidentally put a part of the third chapter in the second chapter, because in the original document file in Chinese I didn't make the division of the chapters very extinguishable.  
> And I just corrected that mistake, sorry for any possible trouble！

Kate carried the bag with all the VHS tapes in it, took the elevator to the 5th floor. Hugo might see her, and might become suspicious, but that didn’t matter anymore. She entered Hugo’s office and it was empty save for Sosa.

“I refused when you invited me to join your Videoclub Misterio, and I’m truly sorry for that...I have reconsidered and decided, maybe it won’t harm if I join? Is it too late for me to make an application now?”

Sosa’s face started to brighten up all of a sudden, and started to introduce the mysterious movie club of her and Mappy’s nonstop.

“Great, great, great! Then that makes three of us. Here, I made you a temporary ID.”

“Wait, so that is it!” Sosa looked downwards and saw the whole bag of VHS tapes Kate was carrying. “You are a fan of mysterious videos all along, Kate! Then why didn’t tell us sooner? Then we could have already...” Sosa could barely hold back her excitement.

“Where can I watch all these video tapes?” Kate didn’t seem to hear Sosa’s stream of speech.

“Oh, it is up on the 7th floor, just above...there. It might be hard to find but it should be easy for you! We’ve made so much progress after all!”

Kate turned to leave. “Hey, wait a moment!” she turned around. It was Sosa. “Wouldn’t you love to binge watch these tapes with us? There are so many of them! We would have so much fun!”

Kate was deep in thought, her expression hard to read. “Umm...I have something else to work on for now. Might take an hour or so. I’ll go there directly for you guys.”

“Bravo!” Sosa was overjoyed. It was too hard to find something to be so happy about at somewhere as contorted and miserable as Sintracorp. “Then I’ll go to the cafeteria and get prepared! Mappy will go, too. Let me see...we can buy some soda, chocolates, and pizza...and we can even make some popcorn! I doubt we can find any though...”

But Kate already left.

She lied. She didn’t have anything else to work on at all. If she must say, what mattered most to her was to watch these VHS tapes. She knew well these things wouldn’t make her feel glad, and might be meaningless aside from making her feel even more pain. But she could just not hold back the inpulse to see these things. They were right in her hands, weren’t they? It was impossible not to watch. And if she got to know how Brian was hurt, it would be better for his treatment and recovery, wasn’t it?

Despite none of those reason stood, Kate’s feet still carried her to the room used as the venue of Videoclub Misterio. The covers of the VHS tapes were roughly marked with dark red numbers, possibly in blood.

She inserted the first VHS tape into the video tape player. Biting on her lower lip, Kate forced herself to get braced for whatever horrifying scenes that would be displayed on the screen.

She was prepared-or to be precise, she thought she was prepared.

The screen of the video player blinked and lit up. The faint glow was the only light source in this dark room. The footage on the screen was in black and white yet Kate was still able to tell it was the interior of Human Resources from the outlines of the office ladies...The view of the camera was moving slowly, wait a second, was that real? There was a giant mouth with such a long and forking tongue? Kate widened her eyes and tried to look at it more closely, before that huge mouth suddenly opened, and swallowed a figure around it in whole. Could it be...

Kate rewound the tape again and again to observe the footage more closely. Correct, it was Brian. It was him, Kate could tell from his slender shape and what he was wearing.

The screen blinked again and went out, the video tape was ejected. With mixed feelings, Kate took out the second VHS tape.

The scenes the infrared camera recorded was monochrome in low resolution, the audio quality was really awful as well. However the content of this VHS tape was so abhorrent and eldritch that it transcended everything in Kate’s mortal cognition. She never prepared herself for this-how could any human on this world be prepared to see something like this? Such a rough monochrome video with the soundtrack full of interference displayed the most unnamable and most inhuman misery in a most explicit way, and Kate was not ready for it at all. She just sat there and let the VHS tape play until it ended, and ejected by the video player, frozen in shock and astonishment from the content of the video tape.

Kate had no idea about how long she sat there, her brain could not process the horrifying sight she just took in. And then she started to feel revolted all of a sudden, stood up in hurry, rushed onto the corridor with her hands tightly pressed over her mouth, and she could not take it anymore when she made it to the corridor, bent down and started to throw up violently. She tasted bile and acid in her mouth and in the end she was still retching, but nothing came out anymore. She straightened up exhausted and huffing, wiping her mouth, her running nose and the tears all over her face clean.

She never wanted to enter that room again.

The room containing all those cursed video tapes.

The first thought ever came to her when she regained some composure was to destroy those tapes. She wanted to stomp on them and shatter them, until they became smallest pieces and then she would burn them all. But then she felt she should not. Despite these VHS tapes being extremely abhorrent, they let her know the nature of the sinister torments Brian had been through. And they might be still useful after she saved Brian from there.

And most importantly, these things were a reminder to her, reminding her constantly about what she had done, the enormous cost of her mistake, and how horrendous and profound her guilts were. She was aware about it now, this was a crime she could not redeem even she died a million times for it, and it wasn’t helping her to compensate it. She knew she must live like this, carrying the sins she was condemned to for a lifetime, and from this moment on, everything she did would be atonement for her sins, despite that she was entirely sure it was a sin she could never redeem.

Just at this moment Sosa and Mappy walked up to her merrily with the snacks they prepared to share, shocked to find Kate shaking all over with a sheet white face, and the puddle of vomit at her feet.

“Kate! What’s wrong? What happened to you? Did you eat anything that...?”

“No, I’m fine, “ Kate struggled to brace herself up. “I’m really fine.” She forced a smile. “It’s just...I just found out about something. We must take Brian out of there. And it has to be quick.”

Mappy and Sosa supported Kate and took her inside the room. Kate tried her best to look away from those cursed VHS tapes.

She might feel a bit sick now, but it didn’t matter.

Because Brian was still out there somewhere, undertaking that endlessly looping excruciation.

She must rescue him from there soon. As quick as possible.


	4. I will never be conquered

“No, I have already told you.” She told Sosa and Doshi firmly, again. “This is something I have to sort out myself. Only I. And she. It has nothing to do with you.”

Sosa and Doshi looked to each other in doubt. It completely ran out of their original plan when Kate suddenly decided to act prematurely, and her eyes, which were originally mild and clear, were emitting a sharp chill that made them scared. They knew they shouldn’t just stand aside and do nothing about it, yet neither of them was able to talk reason into Kate. Because Kate seemed to be unable to take in anything else.

“I will take over Brian’s unfinished work and complete it.” She was speaking with such an abnormal vehemence. “We have to save him from there immediately no matter what. Right on this instant.” She appeared to have lost her mind entirely.

“I know how he started on that, I saw it!” Sosa and Doshi exchanged worried looks. “There is no need for you to help me with this anymore, from now on it doesn’t have anything to do with you!” Kate yelled in an irritated tone, not allowing Sosa and Doshi to approach her at all. “Leave me alone! Go!”

“There must be something wrong with those video tapes,” Sosa said, and Doshi nodded in agreement. “I’ll go upstairs with Mappy to check them out. Watch her here closely, okay？Don’t let her out of your sight. And if she ever leaves-“

“I’ll follow her in quietly. And take measures if necessary.”

Kate did not know how she managed to dodge the acid splashes that came from those “Children of the Witch” anymore. Because in her own heart, those dark and horrible ideas were flowing deep, bubbling and sizzling like boiling asphalt, corroding away everything they came in contact with, the acid liquid from those “familiars”-she tried in vain to stop herself from thinking, those “children of Brian’s”-could not be more corrosive than what was running in her own heart. She knew the witch was right there and she knew what she was supposed to do, and nothing, no one could ever stop her.

“I have been waiting for your arrival for a long time, Ms. Kate Hicks.” The sickly sweet voice that she loathed with such fierceness whispered in her ears.

Kate finally came face to face with the witch‘s mouth that devoured and stained Brian Pasternack.

She could not utter a single word. She felt her soul burning dark and ablaze.

The monitor cameras acting as the witch’s eyes swept over Kate, and sinister laughter came from her at Kate’s suffering.

“Did you come for that man? Brian Pasternack?” The witch licked her own lips with her disgusting green forked tongue as if recollecting the taste in her memories. “Oh, I still remember him. He is actually quite adorable. And tasted quite pleasant. Probably one of the most delicious men I have ever devoured. Oh and now you are here for him. Such a pity that I have already taken him first...I already savored and digested him thoroughly and there is nothing left of him for you. Oh, but don’t lose heart already. Probably I can generously leave you some leftovers after I have made full use of him.

Kate stood there straight and glaring at her, ice-cold anger burning in her eyes, which almost made a hole through the wall.

“Don’t you ever dare to taint that man with that foul mouth of yours!”

“Oh-‘Don’t you ever dare to taint that man with that foul mouth of yours!’” The witch repeated Kate’s words as if they were a joke, and her laughter got even more unashamed. “My gosh...I have never heard about a funnier joke...Do you really think that man was a prude like that? That is so innocent of you-you really should have listened to how he begged me when-‘My Mistress...! I couldn’t last any longer...please! I am begging you! Please let me...cum...”

Kate pressed her hands tightly to her ears, her eyes closed, screaming.

“PLEASE DON’T!“

“Umm? Isn’t this it? Isn’t this what you always wanted to hear? And why you are here?”

Kate could do nothing to stop the piercing voice of the witch coming into her ears.

She could only remain collapsed on the spot, trying to shut off her sight and hearing in vain, taking it when the witch was using the most vicious and cruel way to stain her memories about Brian.

But she should not.

She could not.

She must not allow it.

She must not allow anyone to taint or trample her memories and expectations for Brian.

Her performance was not helping her to kill the witch or save Brian at all.

She remembered. She was here not only to avenge the witch.

She had a very important task to complete.

Kate looked up, pretending to be eased, making a face as if she was deep in thoughts.

“You know what? I don’t feel so much about Pasternack on hearing what you just told me, he didn’t even grow a pair of balls.” Kate looked away in a casual manner. “There’s nothing much interesting about him, and you totally wrecked him anyway. There would surely be lots of good-looking golden bachelors who want to date me.” Kate tried her best to suppress the shaking in her tone that would give away everything.

“Yet as a woman, I could really use some help if you don’t mind it...How did you make him bite the bait? Because I truly want to know how to grab myself some men.”

The witch seemed to be puzzled. But she still seemed to become invested.

“It won’t hurt to tell you. “ She said, seemingly reluctant, but Kate felt she was going to fall for her trap. “All the men are creatures with a simple mind. Spare them some treats, or tickle their curiosity...”

Just as what I am doing right now, Kate thought to herself in secret. She peered at the piece of paper, shaking at the edge of the table and threatening to fall at any second a few centimeters beside her hand. Yes, that was what she was going to use.

“Take Pasternack for instance,” With some disgusting wet noise, the witch opened her huge mouth again, the long and forked green tongue stuck out again, slithering and winding, the photo Kate saw on that first VHS tape was stuck on the tip of that tongue. Kate forced herself to sustain her thrill. It was a make or break moment.

“Just this tiny thing made that silly boy bite the hook.”

Kate’s hand was almost moving at the speed of one millimeter per second. She should not haste, or-

“And he was so glad and thought he was going to nail it this time.”

Kate’s fingertip was already touching that paper figure.

“Those little silly plans he had. I was just watching him like that.”

She got it. Act natural-

“And then I swallowed him down in whole. I knew he could not get away from me.”

Kate supported herself leisurely with one hand on the table. “Aww. I wish I had more wit for dealing with the men. I was really being a bit stupid to throw a fit over such a man.”

It was going to work. She already placed that paper figure on that goat. The photo was still stuck on the tip of the witch’s tongue.

And the goat was already beginning to glide slowly in the direction of the witch’s mouth.

But she had to keep on talking to make the witch focus on her.

“Alas, I really wish I made this trip earlier. So that I could learn a few more tricks from you.”

The goat was sliding in the direction of the witch’s lips, and there was nothing to put a stop to it.

“We could even become friends. I really wish I weren’t a witch hunter.”

The goat finally made it to the witch’s mouth, and the witch was being so arrogant and flattered, completely unprepared for this, and choked on the goat.

She didn’t even pull back her long and forked tongue in time before biting on it with her own sharp teeth, and her pained groans filled the room.

Kate rushed over, grabbed the photo into her hand, put it in her pocket, and ran away.

The witch was coughing violently and finally spat the goat out of her mouth.

But Kate had already got away with the photo.

None of the familiars ever got to her.

The witch was growling, swearing with gritted teeth. “Liar! Rascal! Whore!”

Yet there was nothing that could be done.

Kate had already witnessed the outrageous evil nature of the witch with her bare eyes, which made her burn with anger and fear.

However, despite the witch being so powerful and cunning, but the photo containing the lead to the witch, the photo that Brian failed to get after paying such a huge cost, was finally in the hands of Kate’s.


	5. The Very First Betrayal

“Kate! Kate!” Rei Sintra jumped up courageously, restraining the movements of the giant snake with all the might within her metal body. “Wake her up! Wake up Domori! Now!”

Kate was definitely certain about what she needed to do. She flipped over onto the white snake’s winding and wriggling body and walked up to the girl sealed in the crystal in uneven steps.

She took out the bells she found from Rei Sintra’s coffin.

However, she did not make them ring. Instead, she took out something else from her pocket.

It was the Athame dagger.

And she stabbed the girl with the dagger.

Sintra saw Kate’s move from afar, but it was already too late.

The crystal shattered.

Shattered into pieces with the girl it engulfed.

The girl’s body broke into pieces as well. Her head fell over on to the ground.

The white snake disappeared.

Kate was remaining on the spot. The bells fell off from her hand, tinkled and jingled, rolling all the way down, and dropped at the feet of Sintra.

Rei picked up the bells from the ground, grasped them in her hand tightly.

“You betrayed me.”

Kate looked down to Rei who was glaring at her.

“I did.” Kate made no denial. There was not even any hint of apology in her tone.

“I...I thought...”

“You thought we were on the same side,” Kate said calmly. “You thought I was willing to wake up Domori for you.”

Rei did not say anything.

“But I never promised you that. And as the witch hunter hired by Sintracorp in succession to Brian Pasternack, my job, is to kill the witch. Everything I did in the process has been following the clauses as in the contract, and I have already performed my obligation of killing the witch as stipulated in the contract. And if Sintracorp denied fulfilling the commitment of the contract, I have every right to apply for labor arbitration. And trust me, I am fully capable of winning.

Rei hopped up all of a sudden and rushed towards the higher ground where Kate was standing. Yet Kate did not even flinch at Rei’s fist coming against her.

Rei’s metal body started to jerk unexpectedly, buzzing electric currents wrapped around her body. She was still struggling to move, yet her golden eyes blinked a few times before completely went out, and then she fell off.

The metal body of Sintra crashed onto the ground and broke into pieces, and was not moving anymore.

Kate walked off from the heights and started to look over Sintra’s broken pieces. After making sure the robot was completely damaged, she threw the tiny remote in her hand onto the ground, stepped onto it and turned her heel on it, and the remote was destroyed as well.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Doshi...for failing your trust, but I had to. Everything of this is for saving Brian from here...I know you possibly will not forgive me, but it doesn’t matter, I do not expect your forgiveness.”

Kate knew no one would hear her repentance. But she was finally going to succeed.

She took out a satellite phone and dialed the number she found in Sintranet’s digital library.

And the call got through.

Tears burst out from Kate’s eyes at the instant when she heard someone picked up. But her voice was exceptionally calm when she spoke.

“Hello...this is Sintracorp's original headquarters. Emergency code J-O-Ã-O. The CEO of the company suffered a severe accident，his life was at stake and threatened by grave danger. Security code 4-9-6-2. The location is Residences, on the second floor, and specialized personnel will be giving direction guides. Please arrive in 15 minutes, and do not be later than 20. This is a top emergency.”

Now, there was only one thing left to be done.

Kate walked to that room in the residences with the head of Rei Sintra sealed in crystal in her hand.

And this time she even did not need to use the dagger and the incantation to open the hidden door, because the curse of the witch was already gone.

She initialized the white machine requiring the retinal recognization with the head she had in her hand.

She skipped the two record entries in it, and proceeded with the CEO selection procedure, and inserted the employee ID card she picked up from the floor so long ago.

Which did not belong to her. The name on it was Brian Pasternack.

“You can finally be saved, Brian.”


	6. The Light

The witch adapted Brian into her brooder, made him conceive and incubate her familiars.

Brian had no idea about how long the confusion of his sanity lasted, or how long he had been through the endless loops of alternating blissful ecstasy and devastating agony.

The only thing he knew was he did not have the power to defy.

When he felt that sanity started to come back, he was already discarded somewhere in the lair of the witch, the only things left with him were a broken body at its extreme with almost only skin and bones, and his consciousness floating about in darkness and void.

Was this death? Probably he was already dead. But Brian did not know anything anymore.

He could not tell how long had passed.

Things changed.

He could feel bright and subtle light and shadows. And distant sounds.

Those things felt so strange after being so long in the darkness and nothingness, and they seemed to be from another world.

His mind was in a blurred vacuum. He thought he was already dead. But now why...

And then, he felt something else.

Something was trying to reach out to him through all the shifting brightness and shades.

But he could not see anything.

Among all those distant sounds seemingly unrelated to him, there seemed to be a voice calling his name.

His name.

He had a name.

What was it...That voice was trying to remind him again and again. But what was it...

But it didn’t even matter, did it? Wasn’t he about to die soon?

Yet that voice still kept coming. Kept ringing.

Kept calling to him.

There seemed to be someone trying to pull him back to the physical world he had almost forgotten about.

That voice was getting clearer. He thought he was about to remember it.

“-Brian! Brian!” That voice which sounded a bit familiar was calling to him, constantly.

Brian’s eyelids shivered. The light was too bright, and he could not open his eyes.

He was engulfed in the howling wind. He could hear chaotic noises all around him. And amidst it, there was a voice, calling his name repeatedly, exceptionally resonant.

A slightly familiar voice.

He knew that voice.

He knew that person.

The voice also reminded of him something else. The promise of a bitterish fragrance...some substance that once strengthened him. And he remembered the bitterness when the substance spread in his mouth.

And there was a name, struggled and surfaced from the depth of his vague memories.

“Ka-Kate...?”

Brian realized that it appeared that he had not left the physical world just yet. He could even remotely feel his wrecked body. He wanted to speak, yet he found his mouth was muffled and could not even make a sound. He tried to reach out his hands in the direction that voice came from, but his arms were not moving at all.

Cohesive thinking was too difficult for him. He felt his body getting lighter. He was tired, trying to speak, and trying to move all made him felt tired. And thinking made him so tired too...

Brian closed his eyes again, allowing himself to sink into nothingness again.


	7. The Sunrise

Kate skipped along with the stretcher and followed it into one of the helicopters, she was almost crying her eyes out and was so out of breath from it, and she could barely see her way. When they finally made it inside, the physicians rapidly attached the monitoring supplies all over Brian and connected the tracheal tubing to the ventilator, and she was watching the numerous monitoring screens showing the vital sign readings she could not understand but clearly faint, and his chest wall with prominent ribs rising and falling in assistance with artificial ventilation. She took his skinny hand in her own, which was so cold and fragile that she did not even dare to hold it any tighter, lest it should be broken by her force...The helicopters swept past the city at daybreak, and the city beyond the porthole was waking up to a new beginning, which was so bright and beautiful. The citizens who got up early either for exercise or work must be so surprised to see so many helicopters crossing through the sky, but none of this ever mattered anymore.

After they got off the helicopter, Kate still refused to leave Brian’s side, and the hospital staff had to let her be. But in the end, the stretcher arrived at the door to the operating room, and a nurse told her: “Apologies, Miss. This is as far as you can get.” But Kate still refused to leave and it took three security guards to stop her. Kate stood at the door to the operating room in tears and haggard, yet there was nothing else she could do now.

And then was the long wait.

Kate was fidgeting nervously at the door to the operating room. She tried to stick out her head in an attempt to see any of the process going on in there, and of course, she saw nothing. Anxiety threatened to swallow her whole, and she was so tense that she started to bite on her nails. There was a string in her heart stretching so tightly that it could break at any second-but actually, that string had always been there. That string had been tightly stretched ever since she started her plans to save Brian by all means. No, it was even earlier than that. That string was going to tighten when she was still waiting for Brian to leave HR.

But it was different this time.

She did manage to save Brian from that lair. But now he was severely injured, his life was hanging by a thread. If Brian still didn’t make it after she rescued him from there...she did not even dare to think about that possibility. She knew there was nothing else she was capable of doing now, and even if Brian did not make it, it would not be her fault.

Kate tried to persuade herself that she had tried her best.

But she could not.

Her guilt was too profound indeed. If she managed to get Brian out of there earlier, his chance of survival might be much bigger than now. And...Kate felt her heard rent at this-look at what he had become. After so many inhuman torments, after injured so badly, it was sure he could never retain his health. And he might have to live with medical assistance for a lifetime in order to sustain his life. And not to mention his mind was totally wrecked, and might never return to normal again, and he was bound to live with those cruel traumas ever after.

Yet I still named Brian the nominal CEO of Sintracorp. Is this really right? She asked herself, just as she did before making this decision, and a million times after. But she already knew the answer.

She had no choice.

So many hours passed and Kate’s anxiety had become numbness. She was too tired, despite she was not willing to admit it, she was really too tired. She felt she no longer could...

Right at this moment, the indicator light over the operating room door went out, and Brian was pushed out of it in a wheeled hospital bed. Countless tubes and pipes were stretching from under the white blanket, attached to the various medical equipment installed to the bed. Kate jerked awake from her numbness and wobbled to him.

“We managed to keep him with us for now, “a surgeon said. “No, you cannot make contact with him yet. He will be transferred to the intensive care unit immediately, and have follow-up surgeries when his condition stabilizes...Since all his physical systems are suffering from a severe and complete shut-down and it is a very long process to restore them...He will definitely have a lot of surgeries from now on, and the procedure cannot be completed in a short stretch of time, and will take at least years even with the most advanced techniques...and the possibilities of failure in operations cannot be avoided even with the most cutting-edge technology. The chances are quite high given Mr. Pasternack’s current condition, especially when he will have so many more surgeries...

“But you will do your best, right?” Kate felt exhausted and could barely keep herself standing.

“Certainly, we will...but even after his vital signs stabilize, he probably will not come back to consciousness soon. In fact, the probability of long-term coma is high...and he might not even be able to wake up anymore. But that is only one of the possibilities...and if adequate stimulations were made, patients in a coma can be-wait, are you alright?”

Kate did not take in the later statements the doctor made. All she could hear was buzzing, and saw dark mist filling up her vision. 

It is not finished yet...I still have so, so much more to do.

But I am really a little bit tired...and it won’t hurt if I pause for just a few...

This was the last idea on Kate’s mind before she passed out completely.

Brian’s parents were informed about what happened and was taken to the hospital by the military personnel. Naturally, they were extremely worried, especially when they realized that, their only son, a commoner from the suburb, got the attention of the military forces. A physician briefed the Pasternacks about Brian’s condition and told them they would give him the most advanced treatment with the best medical team. They were naturally heartbroken when they acknowledged their son’s condition, yet they were aware they could not even afford to pay for the expenses for the emergency service, let alone for further treatments. The couple wept in each other’s arms before Mr. Pasternack had to tell the doctor they could not afford it. 

“You totally do not need to worry about that. Ms. Hicks? They are here. I think...maybe you can tell them about the details of the current situation?”

Kate showed up to the Pasternacks in a black suit. There were wide dark circles around her eyes and her lips chapped, but she spoke in a calmest voice.

“Brian is extremely extraordinary.” She told the Pasternacks. “Sintracorp has chosen the right person. He does have a lot of undiscovered virtues and limitless potentials, and somewhere like Sintracorp is exactly the best place for him to make his performance.” Her dull voice showed no emotion. “As soon as he assumed his post, he uncovered the many bugs in the inner network system of the company and the flaws in Human Resource department, and rearranged the organizational structures of Sintracorp with the smallest amount of resources in a most efficient and adequate method.” She was facing the Pasternacks, her eyes looking in their direction straightly, however, her hollow eyes were not focusing on them at all. “And these were not all of Brian’s talents. He is a true genius person with a most charismatic persona and strong appeal, a born leader, and those advantages of his were what our C-Level executives were going for, and why they sent Mr. Pasternack that job offer for that position.”

Kate went on with the lies she made with a blank face. “In fact, during the past few years, the business growth of Sintracorp has been meeting a bottleneck. The development of new products saw no results, the productivity of employees was reduced and many internal conflicts had taken place, and executives of different departments could not come to an agreement for a long time regarding the future steps the company would take. Therefore, the chief executives have reached a consensus on deciding the Sintracorp was in desperate need of a bottom-up overall renewal of its organization, new personnel should be introduced to the company and diploma shall not be used as the sole entry standards. And Mr. Pasternack is one of the new employees who meet the requirement of this recent personnel adjustment and he had proved himself successfully, and he was a live example of diploma does not prove everything. He achieved recognition from all the staff and all the chief executives, and it is only right for him to become the head of Sintracorp, the top company in this world. 

“Mr. Brian Pasternack assumed his post as the chief executive officer of Sintracorp about a month ago. However, all the executives including Mr. Pasternack himself decided not to make the nomination public at the moment. Mr. Pasternack hoped he could show up to the public as the CEO of Sintracorp after the new measures he took for the company result in major positive changes. Many employees did not fully comprehend this, yet they were in full support of Mr. Pasternack, and thus accepted his decision, and kept it secret to the public strictly as required in articles of association. Actually, on the exact day of that sad accident happened...Mr. Pasternack planned to announce his nomination to the public at 10 a. m., and the staff was highly expectant about this since every one of us knows this is the man who will lead us up to the peak, and as his personal assistant, I have been helping Mr. Pasternack to make a thorough preparation for this decisive day, in hope that he could make his appearance to the public in a most inspiring way as the symbol of Sintracorp, and Mr. Pasternack was in full confidence about his appearance. He could have made it, but...”

Mrs. Pasternack turned her back and started to weep with her hands over her face, and her husband held her in his arms gently. Kate still wasn’t showing any expressions on her face.

“About the unfortunate accident that happened to Mr. Pasternack, I regret to tell you that the details and reasons cannot be told according to Mr. Pasternack’s will and the confidentiality articles of association.”

“What?” Mr. Pasternack raised his voice and started to stand up. “Who said that? Who made that rule? Our son is dying! As his parents, we have every right to know what is going on!”

“Exactly!” Mrs. Pasternack wiped away her tears, shouted out angrily. “We demand an explanation for this-“

“Please listen to me,” Kate raised her hands, despite her face was still blank and her tone still flat, there was an unquestionable authority in her attitude this time. “As to direct orders given by Mr. Pasternack himself, I regret to tell you that we are not allowed to give details of the reason why he was injured to outsiders, including his family members, and you have our most sincere apologies about it. However, I can tell you that Mr. Pasternack encountered danger in order to accomplish a highly significant mission, which means a lot not only to Sintracorp itself, but also to the entire human society. Mr. Brian Pasternack almost gave away everything he had for the interests of Sintracorp and the wellbeing of its staff, even including his own life. Sintracorp will keep its hero, Brian Pasternack in its memory forever, he will never be forgotten, and you will have my assurance.” 

“Most importantly: Mr. Pasternack is still alive. Despite him being unwell and remaining in a coma, he is still the nominal CEO of Sintracorp. Before he left for that mission of great danger, Mr. Pasternack made some arrangements to the business affairs of Sintracorp, including adjustments to your categories and a new residence in the city center, and a bank account for you as well...moreover, Mr. Pasternack has signed an agreement in advance to entrust me to act as deputy when he cannot enact his duties to the company, and named me as his voluntary guardian. All the related files are here...” Kate picked up an indigo file folder, handing it over to the Pasternacks. “You can read them yourself more carefully. All the information you need is in here.”

“This is bullshit!” Mr. Pasternack stood up and swept away the folder Kate was holding out for him, veins at his temple pulsing in anger, and his wife flinched at this. Kate’s look still did not change a single bit.

“What is all this nonsense? I don’t care about this Sintracorp shit. And I don’t care about CEO or not! Our son is going to die, and even if he lives, he might become vegetative and as his parents, all we want to know is how he got injured and we are not even allowed that? And what is it with the ‘voluntary guardian’? We are his parents! How could Brian entrusted his everything to someone totally unrelated-“

Mr. Pasternack was getting even more agitated. He kicked aside the indigo file holder fallen to the ground, and the files in it scattered around. He walked up to Kate threateningly, his fists clenched, as if coming at her. And his wife was trying her best to pull him back. “Please don’t, my darling, this isn’t right-“

Kate gave no reaction to Mr. Pasternack who was approaching her aggressively. She remained on the spot.

Seeing Kate who was not moving at all, and with his wife’s pulling getting more forceful, (Let’s just leave, darling...we’ll sort itQ out later...”) Mr. Pasternack gave Kate one last contemptuous glance and spat at her feet before leaving with his wife.

The door was closed. The footsteps of the Pasternacks faded away. 

Kate finally allowed herself to take down that mask of indifference.

She collapsed, kneeling, her face over her laps.

“I’m sorry...I’m sorry...” Kate sobbed, her face drenched in tears. 

She just sat there as if in repentance for very long, keening and weeping, and repeating her apologies no one could hear.


	8. It seemed to be the moon...

After the witch incident was solved, Brian Pasternack become the CEO of the Sintracorp and brought Sintracorp back to the right path. However, few had met this young and able manager in person, despite his image was always in Sintracorp's promotion videos, with that young face with glasses full of confidence and positivity, and telling his success secret resolutely, and calling out those inspiring slogans vigorously. Yet during the significant events, there was always this slender lady with a dynamic short hairstyle and sharp eyes presenting in substitution for him, and it was hard to tell her age. She went by the name Kate Hicks, the personal assistant of Mr. Pasternack, all the important matters and significant decisions to be made were all taken and announced by her. Sintracorp started to grow and grow and there was nothing to bring it down from the top of the world with the management of Mr. Pasternack, and rumors started to come: the system and organization of society we have known so well is all a facade, and what actually possesses and controls everything is Sintracorp. People were exchanging gossips and myths: Why does Mr. Pasternack never age? Has anyone actually met him? Who is that Kate Hicks? And why does Mr. Pasternack never show up?

There were many different versions of tales about these. Yet they were only ungrounded rumors with nothing to prove them.

But there was nothing to prove against them either if one pondered it closely.

Kate Hicks waved those unimportant thoughts out of her mind. It was not the right time for that. What really mattered was what she had to do now.

Almost everything in this room was white. The room was spacious, yet there were few pieces of furniture in it, the pure white hue made this room even emptier. The faint smell of disinfectant lingered in the room, beyond the wide french windows was a balcony decorated with green. Aside from this, there seemed to be nothing special about here, the tiny coffee table and armchairs were white as well, and they were the most ordinary ones that could be found in a home furnishing store. 

Nothing interesting here.

Aside from the biggest piece of furniture by the wall. It was a bed-but its structure was far too complicated for a bed. Devices and gadgets in different sizes were attached to the bed, it was hard to tell the use of each of them, and long pipes and tubes were intruding from some of them, disappearing all the way beneath the blankets. There were at least four interface screens at each side of the bed, yet they were all facing out, apparently not for the person in the bed to use. Several IV bags were hanging from a bed pole, with transparent or red or cream liquid in them, slowly dripping their contents into the person in the bed. The bed looked empty...yet it was not. The person in it with thick blankets over him was just too petite to be seen immediately. 

No movements could be seen through the blankets. The person wrapped in them seemed to be asleep. But wait-the blankets were shifting. Looked like the person in it was trying to get out of them. And then a head with messy dark hair appeared through them, and it looked like that man just woke up from a dream, blinking his eyes sleepily, and then he seemed to feel something and looked in Kate’s direction.

It was Brian Pasternack.

“Doctor Higgs?” Brian turned his head in the direction of the comer. He still felt drowsy, blinked his eyes, trying to adapt to the overly bright light in the spacious ward. Ugh, if only he still had his glasses. He could not see anything like this, and he hated it.

“Oh, it is really you! You’re finally here!” When she approached, he felt a familiar sense of presence. He tried his best to make that hoarse hissing he was only capable of, trying to make himself heard more clearly, but he still could not make it loud. “I have been waiting for you!”

Dr. Higgs was standing by Brian’s bed, holding the clipboard with his medical record to herself with one hand, and started to operate the interface screens by the bed. “Brian?” She spoke in that same indifferent tone, “How are you feeling today?” She asked, as in a routine. She was working on the panels proficiently, checking the recorded values for Brian’s body condition. “Today you look well.” She looked down at Brian’s face. “Are you prepared for your usual physical examination?” Brian could feel the professional and cool attitude in her tone and eyes.

Brian gave a small nod. This was the best he could manage.

“Um. All right. “Dr. Higgs replied, and moved away Brian’s blankets with care, exposing his wrecked body. During times like this, he preferred he could not see anything, because he did not need to face what his body had become of. And, even though Dr. Higgs was the doctor in charge of him, everything she did was for professionally medical purposes for Brian’s treatment, and Brian could do nothing about his own condition, yet...it still made him uneasy when he thought about letting a lady check through his body in such detail despite this was how he was used to.

Brian had basically no memory about the accident that caused his current condition. Everything he knew of was from Dr. Higgs. According to what she told him, he was just stepping off the train when he was pushed off the opposite platform by the rushing crowd and was run over by the tram. He was also told that he was there for a new job. However what Brian himself remembered was no more than getting a job offer from a top company after graduating from high school just a month ago, and he boarded the tram to the capital with all that anxiety, expectations, and disbelief...but he did not have memories about what happened later. But there was nothing interesting about it, was it? It was just the accident that happened to him, and he was run over by that speeding train. And he preferred he did not remember something so horrible after all, so he had nothing to complain about. 

According to Dr. Higgs, the judgement was all the medical expenses of Brian’s treatment was born by the tram company and the company that hired him, and quite a few people who were related to the accident were condemned as well. And the tram company seemed to be closed for it and taken over by the company that hired him. Aside from that, his parents also received a considerable amount of compensation payment and their categories were upgraded to the class-A category permanently, and thus they were able to move to the city and did not have to worry about feeding themselves. But Brian was still feeling guilty when thinking about it. He thought he was about to get a new job and a new life, and the chance to give back what his parents granted him, and make them proud of him-and then everything was rendered impossible just because of his carelessness. And it had been so many years since then, but he still had not regained his health, and he could not even straighten up with his own power. And what made him most guilty was, he only met his parents a few times before they passed away. He still remembered when he saw his mother for the last time. She came alone because his father was already gone. He could not quite recall what his mother said to him, but he could still remember the kisses she left on his forehead and his numb hand. Thinking it over now, probably Mother knew she was going to die soon at the moment. They possibly could not take the blow of his accident and that was why they passed away so early. And it was not even possible for Brian to attend their funeral.

Now his only connection to this world was Dr. Higgs. Despite there were long intervals between her visits and her attitude was being so professional and distant, and there was no emotion in her tone at all, the only purpose of her contact was to treat his condition. But this was the only live person he could meet who was willing to speak to him, and other people, nurses or care workers, were silent and even if he wanted to strike up a conversation, the only thing they could hear would be meaningless hoarse moans, and they would not even know he was trying to talk. 

Brian could not feel his own body. He could only make the slightest movements of his head, blink his eyes or move his lips and speak in hoarse breaths. He spent most of his time sleeping, but occasionally, when he woke up and could not fall back asleep, he would think hard and long. 

Living like this is meaningless.

My life is worthless.

Because I haven’t accomplished anything meaningful, and I haven’t created any values, and I will not be able to do that ever again.

The value of my life-it is even minus because so many efforts have to be made in order to sustain my broken body. 

To support someone like me, so many resources have to be put into it, this is such a huge waste. 

Why is that company still running? No, this is not the right question, the right one is why are they still supporting my life? And they are doing so much more than that, I know they are treating my injuries positively, despite it being extremely slow. And I am starting to feel better-at least I can speak again now.

Why do they have to do everything of this.

I could not feel a thing. But I am in such pain.

I would prefer to be killed when the train ran over me than living like this, that would be such mercy, compared to this...

He could see blurred shapes and knew Dr. Higgs was examining his body with her professionalism. She remained silent throughout it, and he could only see shuffling light, shadows, and colors, and hear the ruffling noise of the beddings, occasional beeping of the devices, and knocking sounds, probably some examination method taken by Dr. Higgs. He was really aching to speak to Dr. Higgs, and hear more than those usual cult greetings and the medical terms when she was briefing him on the treatment plans, even if just a few words.

Because Dr. Higgs was his only connection to the world and the only remaining person in this world who was willing to care about him, no matter how indifferent it was.

And...he still had the memory about a night he didn’t even know when.

He woke up in a cold shimmer. It was probably the moonlight. But he could not see anything more.

Wait...there seemed to be something, or someone...a dark outline in the dim light, beside his bed.

He could hear a voice. A suppressed weeping sound, by the slight shivering of the shape. That seemed to be what woke him up...

It was a crying woman. Is it mom? No, no way...mom has not visited him for a long time. She was long gone. 

No one else in this world would be crying for him, he knew it well.

Yet, at that moment, that figure was crying in suppressed sobs at her bed for a long time...

That figure had a familiar scent with her. It was just he couldn’t believe, or admit...but it was really Dr. Higgs.

It is Hicks, a faint voice somewhere in his head tried to tell him, but it was not anything important.

She was not so cold as I thought, Brian said to himself. But why would she cry like that?

Brian tried his best to muster more strength within his limited ability to make a sound that could be understood by Dr. Higgs.

He was still considering what to tell her. He had so much to tell yet he had so little power...

Dr. Hicks seemed to be done with her examinations. She put Brian’s blankets back over him and started to adjust the devices around the bed. Looked like her work would be finished soon, and she would leave the room.

She walked away...to the door. This was his last chance.

“Doctor Higgs!” He cried with all he had, but only managed a hoarse groan. But this was the best he could manage. 

She did not hear him. She was leaving.

And she would not come back in a long time.

And left him alone with unbearable solitude and pain.

But she heard it. She turned around. And walked back in Brian’s direction. He could still feel that professional sharpness in her eyes, the indifference surrounding her. 

“What?” She asked, a bit impatiently. He certainly understood. She must have so many more patients to treat. 

But he still did want her to go.

“Doctor Hicks...”He called out again. He did not possess enough strength in him to pronounce the voiced consonant properly.

Dr. Higgs seemed to freeze in surprise for a split second. And then she spoke again.

“What’s up, Brian? You need to know, I am busy.”

“Could you...please have a word with me? Just a few. Please.”

She was in silence for a few seconds, and then her tone suddenly softened surprisingly. “Of course. What do you want to talk about?”

Brian was feeling his heart aching as if grasped tightly, and he could not tell if it was pain or anything else. He closed his eyes and tears fell off his face. He tried to speak again, but he felt that he was already drained of energy.

“I have something that can be helpful.” Apparently noticed Brian’s difficulty, Dr. Higgs took out a thin tablet, and attached it to a holder beside his bed, “You can control this terminal with the movements of your eyeballs.” Dr. Higgs tapped it a few times before the alphabet showed up on the screen. “You only have to move your eyes through the letters you need, and it will speak for you.” 

Brian opened his eyes again. Dr. Higgs wiped away his tears with a clean piece of gauze. 

He was no longer alone.


	9. The Soap Bubble

“Ah, it’s not-wait, please let me-”

Brian was trying to fiddle with the controls of the wheelchair clumsily with his fingers that just recovered their feeling. He accepted several more surgeries, and he could finally move his arms, which was a huge improvement, he also got a new pair of glasses, despite the frames were round instead of square as he was used to, but he could finally see clearly. During the past month, he had been taking rehabilitation training by Ms. Sosa, a pale woman with sunken cheeks and a strange puffy hairstyle. She seemed to be quite nervous and suspicious constantly, and whenever she was pushing Brian on his wheelchair outside for some daylight, she was always glancing about uneasily, but Brian could not sense any danger around here, after all, it was no more than a deserted and withered garden. But why was she always being so tense? Whenever Brian asked about it, she would put up one finger dramatically before her lips and whispered, “Shh-! She is watching us!” And that was truly puzzling to Brian. But she was a nice person aside from that, despite she talked in a weird way that did not make sense sometimes, it was fun to talk with her. 

Sometimes a Mr. Doshi would also come here. His mid-length hair was tied into a ponytail with a red string, and he had an olive-skinned face that looked comforting. He was good at operating, fixing and creating various machines-from the equipment, lift and various terminals in this rehabilitation hospital, and even tubes and pipes in the kitchen and the bathroom were included. He was also in charge of the maintenance of his personal terminal, installing system updates, adding new applications and contents, which were mainly some e-books, educational programs for children and puzzle games. Brian did not know why his terminal was denied Internet connection and he could only have access to those things on it, even if the injuries from his accident did some harm to his brain function, he did not think it ever affected his intelligence or cognition. When he asked Mr. Doshi about it, he merely went silent for a few silent, before telling him the doctor advised against overworking his brain, which was bad for his recovery. And Brian could do nothing about it except for accepting what Mr. Doshi told him.

But why were the other terminals in this facility not connected to the Internet.

Brian did not have much pastime save for these boring shows intended for young kids. The only place for recreation in this building was a tiny chess room, with several decks of shabby cards, two sets of checkers and an international chess set, with some books and magazines as well, which were for adults yet most of their publication dates were at least thirty years ago. Yet in comparison, everything else about this building was new, and most of the supplies were new creations in the recent years Brian was not familiar with, and Mr. Doshi often came to update and renew them. He could not understand why the place was in such an information block when the hardware facilities were so frequently updated, as if someone was trying to keep it this way...

And Brian had not seen anywhere or anyone else except for this deserted garden. By common sense, for better recovery of the patients, the association between them should be encouraged. Yet almost no one else talked with him aside from Ms. Sosa and Mr. Doshi, and, very occasionally, Dr. Higgs who came to check up on his condition. He was trying his best with his rehabilitation training, despite it made him so tired and painful, he knew this was his only way to recovery.  
"Very good!" Ms. Sosa said, after witnessing Brian driving the wheelchair around the garden a few times successfully. Although her sunken cheeks looked almost terrifying, her smile was sincere, and Brian replied to her with a smile.

"I think your fingers still need more training. Don't slack in the training of your arms either." She said, after examining Brian's arms. "Now we can go back. Do you still need me to push your wheelchair? I think you might need a little help when going up the slope—"

"Ms. Sosa," Brian interrupted her. "Thank you very much for your help, but I just want to ask...Can I pay any other ward a visit? Because now that I can almost use a wheelchair on my own now. I am all on my own all the time...and everything I have is this deserted garden and everything else here, I am already getting tired of it-I didn’t mean to be rude!" Seeing the expression on Ms. Sosa's face, Brian tried to make up for what he just uttered desperately, "I am just... I only mean that..."

However, he didn't figure out what to say.

"Not for the time being," Ms. Sosa said coldly, obviously not very happy with this. "Our words don't matter. This has to be approved by the doctor."

"Who? Still Dr. Higgs?" Brian said helplessly. He knew that Dr. Higgs was a good person and always regards her work professionally. He knew that she couldn't let him take any risks, so she always worked extremely strictly and seriously. But was this too much? It was totally not necessary.

It was not that he was dissatisfied with Ms. Sosa or Mr. Doshi in any way, it was just he really wanted to make a few other friends. No matter how friendly Sosa and Doshi were to Brian, their care for him was nothing more than their work duty after all, and they will treat any other person in this way just like in the way they did to him.

"Yes," Ms. Sosa didn't say much. But Brian always felt she was not happy with this. Was this because she was upset? Or was it because of Doctor Higgs? Brian did not dare to speak anymore, waiting for Ms. Sosa's reaction.

"You mean you want to make friends?" Ms. Sosa said suddenly. Brian nodded.

"Yes," he said expectantly. "so that we can talk about other things. For example, things other than surgery and treatment."

Ms. Sosa seemed to be deep in thoughts. In the end, she said:

"I see. I will tell Dr. Higgs about this and we’ll see what she says."

Then Ms. Sosa pushed Brian’s wheelchair all the way back into his room, as if she had forgotten that she had asked Brian about whether he wanted to operate his wheelchair himself. It's not that Brian had any objections, but there were really many things that made him curious. As his rehabilitation trainer, Ms. Sosa had to follow Dr. Higgs’ instructions, which was normal. But why did Mr. Doshi, like Sosa, had to act on Dr. Higgs even in the smallest things? Why? He did not even work in the medical industry at all. He would not even let him watch TV, let alone the news.

"Isn’t it enough for you to watch the video in your terminal? There is no need to watch TV, it’s all bullshit, not to mention that there is no TV here. News programs are always so annoying, you don’t have to bother to watch them. It is not necessary." Mr. Doshi muttered, as if complaining about those trivial matters in his life, but still, he did not dare to look into Brian's eyes.

Some things were not quite right.

Higgs, Sosa, and Doshi...the three of them were hiding something from him.

And they spared no effort to do this. Moreover, despite that he was certain that they really had something to conceal from him all the time, his physical condition did not even allow him to search for any evidence, let alone to confirm these suspicions of his.

His current physical condition did not allow this.

This was to say...in order to seek out the truth, he needed to become stronger. And no one could be allowed to notice it.

To his surprise, Dr. Higgs actually approved his request to make a new friend.

Which was a woman wearing a hoodie with half of her face covered by some horrible scars. She was wearing headphones and looked indifferent, but Brian immediately felt a sense of closeness to her, because he reckoned that she might also know what it felt to be incomplete. On the sight of Brian, she took off her headphones and told Brian that she was a friend of Sosa's, and her name was Mappy. She was holding her terminal in her hand, and the screen was on. Brian looked to the screen curiously, but Mappy turned the screen over, so that Brian couldn't see it.

"So, what would you like to talk about?" Mappy was a little impatient. Brian had this strange feeling, as if he had experienced this a long time ago.

"Uh...anything will do," Brian said. "Um...what about movies? I haven't seen a movie for years. What movie have you watched recently? Could you tell me about it?"

Mappy said nothing.

Brian saw in the corner of his eyes that Sosa, who was sitting in the distance, seemed to gave a subtle wink in Mappy’s direction.

"I like old movies." Mappy said with a sigh. "Some old B-movies, Takusatsu, horror movies, and so on... all those old things from the last century, I am not sure if you will be interested. I often watch them with Sosa. We also founded a special club for enthusiasts of these movie genres-"

Brian did not need to peek through the corner of his eyes to see Sosa gesturing violently in Mappy's direction to stop her from speaking any more.

"We’d better cut on that." Mappy glanced at Sosa nervously, and immediately changed the subject. "Actually, on second thought I don’t think such movies are suitable for your current situation. But those Hollywood golden age movies..."

Mappy started endlessly on Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn and those dull and lengthy American movies. But Brian didn't take in any of them at all, only occasionally saying "um" and "oh" between Mappy's words when he felt appropriate, and Mappy did not seem to be keen on this topic at all either. Finally, the meeting time was over, and Mappy got up, ready to leave.  
"Sorry I cannot get up to see you off," Brian said politely. "I hope we can meet again next time."

But Mappy left without even looking back. Brian felt that she didn't want to see him again at all.

There was definitely some problems.

Everyone was trying to conceal them from him.

But Brian would hold his position for now... he did not have enough power yet. He would have two more operations next month. Maybe in six months, or a year. After that, he might be able to turn the wheelchair with his own strength instead of using an electric wheelchair.


	10. The Whereabouts of the Truth

"I want to see Kate Hicks," Marta Sosa got off the elevator and walked to the front desk of the fifth-floor,and slapped her hand aggressively on the table. The young woman sitting at the front desk now with a headset was operating a floating holographic terminal with her gestures. It was hard to say whether she had seen Sosa, but she must have heard Sosa's voice, because she said in a tone of business,

"Ms. Hicks is not available now."

"Damn it," Sosa shut down the holographic terminal of the front desk with the waving of her hand, spat a swear word that was extremely inappropriate for this kind of occasion. "You prat were not even fucking born when I was in that office!" The receptionist looked at Sosa, as if she thought Sosa had gone insane, "Where you are sitting right now was my wife’s old position, so you'd better think again about the situation!" The receptionist looked at her, her body trembling, but she seemed to suddenly remember something, because she muttered something into the microphone of the headset.

Then a few burly men in neat suits appeared quietly out of the corners of the corridor.

"Come on," Sosa swore, pointing her finger into the air. "Is this all you can manage? I know that witch is in there right now, thinking that with everything in the world in her hands, she can do whatever she wants-come on! Give me those fists! I know you are in there, Kate Hicks, I know you are watching! If you still have the slightest hint of conscience, just get out of there at this instant-wait, I remember now, there is no conscience in you at all—but just only for _that man_ 's sake--"

At this moment, a speaker on the wall rang suddenly.

"Tell Ms. Sosa, go to the innermost part of E office to find me."

Sosa looked angrily at the surrounding security and reception, and then strode towards Office E, almost slammed the door open, entered the room, and looked around hastily. This cubicle seemed to be no different from when she was here for the last time, but now there was no time for such kind of things. She walked further into the furthest room.

She stopped short, panting. There was nothing unusual about this office (as if she was expecting something unusual here). In fact, its decoration style was very similar to the outside cubicles. There were several documents on the clean table, and a woman with neat short hair was reading them without haste.

"Welcome, Ms. Sosa," Kate Hicks didn't even bother to look up. "Excuse me, but why did you took so long and came to Sintracorp Headquarters all the way for me? You seem to be in such a hurry."

"Stop playing dumb," Sosa slapped Kate's desk. "I’ve been holding this for too long. I will not leave before we sort this out right here, right now.”

Ms. Hicks also raised her head and stood up, with a power no less than Sosa’s. "Okay then, we’ll clarify everything today if that is what you wish. You came for the sake of Brian, if I assumed correctly?"

"At least you still have a little bit of heart in you."

"I've arranged everything as they should be," Kate said casually. "You only need to do as I said. What's your problem?"

"You know it yourself," Sosa said through gritted teeth. "Inay and I, the two of us will not play this stupid play house game with you forever. It's not because of you," Sosa clenched his fist tightly. "Brian. All these years have passed. He is no longer eighteen. You might think that since he has been severely injured in that way, his sanity might have been damaged as well, or at least he might be easily triggered. He is no longer the person you know. We all know this very well. I understand it you might want to protect him from the cruel truth, however, is it really necessary to go to such lengths? Isolating him completely from the outside world? Sooner or later, he will discover what on earth have you done! " Sosa kicked the file cabinet next to her aside, and several colored posters of the Sintracorp slid off of it, with a photo of the young Brian Pasternak on them, who was stretching his fist into the distance willfully, "The man who leads the world forward." The text printed on the poster said. Sosa stepped on them forcefully and turned her heels on them. "We all know that lying is your second nature, Kate. One lie covers another. Maybe you can't even tell lies from truths yourself. About all of this," Sosa spread her hand, "Inay and I are not to comment. This is your choice, and we all know that it’s no good to get in your way. However, we are people with a conscience. You might be able to deceive everyone in this world, and that has nothing to do with us. But Brian? Lying to him, keeping everything from him for a lifetime? We've had enough of doing this dirty work for you. We will not continue to keep on this. We refuse."

"Then what?" Although Sosa just lost her temper and acted rather improperly, Kate still maintained her indifferent tone. "What are you going to do? Quit? Leave Brian alone and helpless?"

"You know it very well yourself," Sosa said coldly.

"Tell Brian the truth?" Kate laughed, although there was no humor in her laughter. "Don't be silly, Marta. It's been so many years. What's the benefit of telling him the truth suddenly at this time? What can it do? Besides," Kate approached Sosa's face and said, "Are you really willing to be the one who is going to tell Brian all these cruel facts? Tell him exactly what happened during that incident? Just when he is already getting better? Are you ready—" She lowered her tone, her voice almost became a malicious whisper, "are you ready to face what might happen to him after he learns about the truth? Are you ready to watch him break again in front of you? Or Inay? Can you take it?"

Sosa froze in place. Although she hated everything Kate did from the bottom of her heart, she had to admit she had a point.

Kate was right.

She was not prepared.

"You said you wanted to tell Brian the truth," Kate continued, "have you ever considered it seriously? When? How? What should be emphasized and what should be omitted? Just admit it," Kate tapped the table with one finger. "You keep saying that you want Brian to know the truth, but in fact you just hope that he gets to know the truth so that you don’t have to deceive him anymore. You feel that you have a conscience," Kate approached Sosa, poking her left chest for a few times, forcing her taking two steps backwards, "Yes, you do have a conscience. And all you want to do is to make sure your conscience will no longer be condemned."

Sosa was silent for a long time.

"You always think that everything you do is good for Brian." She said eventually. "But even if Inay and I are willing to help you with keeping this lie, you can't expect to keep it from him forever. As long as it is a lie, there must be loopholes, and we all know that he has already gotten suspicious."

Kate sighed. She thought for a moment.

"You know, actually I think what you said makes sense." Sosa looked at Kate in a puzzled way, wondering why her attitude suddenly made a drastic change, "It's true that we can't hide from him forever. And one day, he will know the truth eventually...no matter how cruel the truth is."

"Then what are you going to do?" Sosa said. She didn't think Kate could come up with any good ideas.

"Nothing." Kate turned around, stopped looking at Sosa, and walked back to her seat. "Since he will discover the truth eventually, we’ll just let him. This process may take long. It may take months. Even years.

However, he will find out about it in the end. I know this. "

"So Inay and I still need to work for you, for Dr. Higgs like we are doing now." Sosa concluded.

"Yes. That's it." Kate Hicks, or rather, Dr. Higgs said with satisfaction. "I'm glad we have clarified this...and reached a consensus."

Sosa wanted to say something else, but did not think of anything meaningful. She knew that the method proposed by Kate was indeed feasible. Without outside interference, Brian had to discover the truth on his own, which might take a long time.

And such a long time...should be enough for him to mentally prepare to face what happened.

She gave up resistance and walked out the door.

"I will ask for a salary increase!" she finally shouted out to Kate.

And Dr. Higgs just smiled and did not speak.

The stitches could finally be removed for the second operation, and Brian was incredibly annoyed. He didn't understand why Dr. Higgs had to take so much trouble trying to reshape his digestive system. Twenty years ago, the tram almost ran over him from his feet to his head, and it was a miracle that he was able to survive without any brain damage. The current medical technology is indeed very advanced. If he kept on taking more treatments, one day he would be able to walk again, but that was already good enough for him. He could survive merely by relying on artificial nutrition and dialysis and have a relatively normal life, and these were easily accessible.

He hadn't eaten for more than ten years. And he was still alive and well. So how did it matter?

But Dr. Higgs seemed to be particularly concerned about this. She repeatedly explained to Brian that reshaping his digestive system is the key to improving his quality of life in the future. It was indeed a miracle of modern medicine that he could walk, but he did not have to be satisfied only with such extent of recovery. Brian was really bored with this, because he thought it was just another excuse for Dr. Higgs to keep him trapped in this isolated soap bubble, and Ms. Sosa and Mr. Doshi were unwilling to make comment on this.

"That's the doctor's decision." Ms. Sosa said. "The doctor naturally knows what is the best for her patient." However, after saying this, she seemed to grunt angrily, as if she did not agree what she said at all.

"About this...I don't really know, Brian. I'm not a doctor. I'm just a handyman, doing my work of fixing here and there."

But Brian knew that Ms. Sosa disagreed with Dr. Higgs very much. He also knew that Mr. Doshi was more than just a handyman.

Brian knew that for so many years, he had been living in a soap bubble carefully isolated from the outside world. Both Sosa and Doshi had something keeping from him, and Brian was very sure about this, he just didn't show his acknowledgement, and everything he did was silently cooperating with Sosa and Doshi, maintaining this false steady state of the soap bubble.

He even felt that Sosa and Doshi probably already knew that he had already have doubts.

But I am just holding still for the time being. Brian told himself. I am just accumulating my strength. Wait...until tonight and I can try it when no one knows it. Then I will do this every night. It may not be fast, but I will do his best...and I will not let Sosa and Doshi notice this.

I will know the truth one day.

"Ah, I can finally move the wheelchair with my own strength!" Brian pretended to be surprised and happy, turning his smiling face to Ms. Sosa. In fact, he could already do this a long time ago. Now, he could move the wheelchair back and forth alongthe corridor while no one was there. He deliberately said that he was cold and asked for thick and loose hospital gowns to cover his arms, because if he hadn't, his arms that had begun to show muscle lines would attract unnecessary attention.

Ms. Sosa looked down at him, with a relieved expression on her sunken cheeks.

She didn't know anything yet.

Two weeks ago, he demanded a pair of crutches sent to his room, with that "When I am looking at it, I will be more motivated to train." But he actually tried to use crutches every night, even though his legs were still very weak.

Maybe he needed more training. He just couldn't let them discover.

He needed more time. But he didn't seem to have so much time.

On several occasions, Brian accidentally discovered that Sosa and Doshi were talking behind him, and they stopped immediately when they saw Brian approaching. Brian didn't ask much; he knew he didn't interrupt anything, because Sosa and Doshi were obviously not in that kind of relationship. Obviously, some of Brian's behavior might have caused Sosa and Doshi's suspicion, and they might be discussing countermeasures.

Brian operated the elevator and returned to his room. This room was still a bit empty, but now it was no longer a pure white empty and silent void. There is no hint about the owner of this room being sick, except for the sickbed-strictly speaking, it could no longer be regarded as a sickbed. In the past, this hospital bed was connected with countless complicated instruments. The only purpose of their operation was to try to maintain the fragile life of the person in the bed, but this was not the case anymore, the faint smell of disinfectant had disappeared at some point. Now, in addition to the non-characteristic reception tables and chairs, there was other furniture here, which gave the place more life. The huge French window was still pouring sunlight into the room. There are a lot of colorful and delicate paintings neatly hanging on the wall. A easel, some sketch paper, charcoal and paint-those paintings were created by Brian with these tools. Old cassette radio-this was old object that had long been left behind by the times, but he still got some classical music cassettes. The low bookshelves and desks were stacked with books approved by Dr. Higgs, including some European classical literature, ancient Greek poetry, Japanese, French and Chinese textbooks, and even detailed explanations of art techniques... Because he made a solemn protest to Dr. Higgs, explaining to her that the types of books in the hospital were extremely scarce and meaningless, not to mention all of them were very ancient and there was nothing new at all. He hoped that while he was gradually recovering, he could still have some ways to pass his free time, and learning some skills was obviously the most appropriate way. This would be good for my body. Brian still remembered his reasoned arguments when seeing the hesitation on Dr. Higgs's face at the time. This will not only coordinate my limbs, but also exercise my thinking...In this way, after I fully recover, I will live a better life-isn't this your long-held hope?

Yes, it is like this...but not only that.

The reason why he did this was the same as why he always planned to break this illusory soap bubble one day...

Brian wanted his own life.

It was not enough for him to just survive. He had lost so many months... he hadn't even had time to have his own life. In those countless days and nights when he could feel nothing at all, except for his own mind floating in the void, he had longed for death so much, and even death was an unattainable dream for him at that time.

But he was no longer alone, right?

Even if he was still temporarily trapped in an illusory soap bubble.

He was really upset because of this situation, because he was kept in the dark and felt anxious, and this situation must have something to do with Sosa, Doshi, and Doctor Higgs.

Probably mainly because of Dr. Higgs.

But Brian knew that she was not as indifferent as she seemed, and knew that she also had a heart under her expressionless appearance. More importantly, she was the person who cared about him most now, and she was the very person who gave him a new life.

So Brian told himself that even if he discovered the truth, he must not blame Dr. Higgs too much. After all, everything she had been doing all this time was for helping him to regain his health, wasn’t it? Maybe she did have her reasons.

But this did not mean that Brian would not actively seek the truth. In fact, his plan was slowly starting to take shape...


	11. The Shattered Mirror

Success or failure depended on what he was going to do next. The cleaning staff was loading huge bags of garbage onto a van. He didn't know why they were using this kind of vehicle to for garbage transferring, wasn't it wasteful? So he had reached a conclusion: The vehicle would drive to a garbage transfer station, where it unloaded its garbage, and then returned to the rehabilitation hospital.

The cleaning staff walked into the warehouse again. This was his best opportunity.

He held the crutches tightly to one side of his body, and crawled through the grass as he had practiced many times before, carefully not letting the crutches rub against anything. After getting used to it, this was actually a very simple matter. After putting the crutches in the van, he used the strength of his arms to prop up himself from the ground, and climbed into the van, and hide himself in the deepest of the garbage bags.

He heard the sound of the door closing, and then the sound of the engine starting.

The van set off.

On this dark night without moonlight, this truck would carry Brian to the truth...

But it was not a truth he would like.

The carriage swayed and stopped. Brian was not sure where he should get off. It seemed that his plan was still not detailed enough... but he knew nothing about the outside world, and this was the best he could manage.

He heard someone open the door of the van and began to take out the garbage bag. So he gritted his teeth, grabbing his crutches, hugging himself, preparing himself for the impact that would come moments later.

Fortunately, landing was not as painful as he thought, since he was hiding in the deepest place among the garbage bags, the trash that was thrown away first served as a cushion

The van started. Then the roar of the engine got farther and farther.

Brian listened carefully to the surrounding sounds. He didn't want people to see how he appeared from the garbage bag-after all, a person who crawled out of the garbage bag in the middle of the night looked really suspicious.

But it was silent all around.

Brian took a deep breath, ready to stick his head out of the trash bag. He didn't know if he would like the world he was about to see.

He could feel the flashing of neon lights in the city through the garbage bag. Maybe there were advertising screens. Many advertising screens, because it seemed to be very bright. It's better to be brighter, which meant he just needed to be careful so that he wouldn't fall.

Am i ready? He asked himself.

Then he realized that one could never be ready enough to face such unknown.

So he took his crutches and struggled to free himself from the garbage bag.

He got up and tried to stand straight with the help of crutches to support his weak legs. Garbage was scattered all around him. This was not surprising, after all, he got out of the garbage bag. Although there was no one everywhere, the brightly flashing neon lights and display screens made this corner of the city as bright as day in the middle of the night. His eyes were still a little bit uncomfortable after the darkness in the van, so he rubbed his eyes, and then put his glasses back on again, thinking to himself, actually I prefer my own square glasses...

Then he looked up and saw the largest and brightest billboard at the highest point.

He couldn't believe what he saw. He took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes, and put them back on. But his eyes did not deceive him.

On that billboard, and on countless smaller billboards, in the advertisements playing in loops, someone in an indigo suit, a red tie, with the pair of black squared framed glasses he was all too familiar with. The curly-haired young man was making a silent speech in , and his familiar face was full of unfamiliar confidence and determination. On the green background of the advertisement is the red company logo, followed by a slogan in an enlarged and bold font:

**"THE MAN WHO LEADS THE WORLD FORWARD.**

**BRIAN PASTERNACK"**

What Brian saw was completely beyond his own cognition. There was no logic in all of this... Brian's gaze shifted from one billboard to another, and then to the next, but even though the face he was so familiar with had such unfamiliar confidence on it, he would never be mistaken about it. And the logo of that company... Brian looked away from the billboard and looked around. Bus stops, convenience stores, bank buildings, hospitals, fire hydrants by the road, and even public toilets were all attached with the same distinguishable bright red logo...

**"SINTRACORP"**

Brian has seen that logo. He tried hard to retrieve his dusty memories...it was on that day. The fateful day that changed his life forever. The day that made his body so broken that he had to spend nearly two decades to repair it. He received a direct invitation from this company...with tension, anxiety, uncertainty, and a trace of anticipation, he boarded the tram into the city without realizing that his life orbit was about to change permanently...

Then he couldn't remember anything. He could sense something deep in his memory trying to come up, but all he only remembered was shadows and darkness. There was also silence... the boundless silence.

No, there was something else in that dead silence. Some kind of indescribable voice. Something was squirming, the sound of sliding, and then he felt a trace of fear in his heart...

No, it was not like this, it shouldn't be like this. He shook his head hard, trying to get the unknown impression out of his mind. If that person up there was Brian Pasternak... and that person was indeed Brian Pasternak... then who was he? Who was himself? Who was this lost, broken and incomplete man wandering in all of this absurdity? Brian-he didn't even know what to call himself anymore-looking around frantically, trying to find some evidence to prove-what did he want to prove? What else could he prove?

Everything is fake...The name is fake...The identity is also fake...

He felt the sky spinning. The sound of the wind rang in his ears. He tried to keep his balance, but his legs began to give in under the pressure of his body.

He was going to fall.

Before he fell, he saw his face in a shattered mirror that was discarded by the pavement

Behind the brown round frame of his glasses was a strange face.

A face with prominent edges and corners, deep sunken eye sockets, and already showing wrinkles.

Who am I...

How many months and years have I lost... and I don’t even know who I am now...

He fell to the ground, letting the cold darkness engulf himself.

The suffocating darkness pressed against his eyes, and he couldn't see anything. He couldn't breathe... He tried to hit and kick the unknown thing that was oppressing him with all his might, but it was futile... He also heard a voice, a terrible voice, of a woman whispering, the voice whispering unknown mantra was cold enough to make his blood freeze instantly...

Then bloody scarlet letters splashed into his vision and filled up everything.

KILL THE WITCH.


	12. It is indeed the moon.

He woke up all of a sudden, breathing precious air in huge gulps. He felt a sharp pain in his flanks, as if he had been running for a long time... and then he remembered that he couldn't run now...

He straightened up. The empty room was shrouded in dim yellow. He couldn't tell whether it was dawn or dusk. Maybe it's dusk. he did not know.

His head hurt sharply. He tentatively got up and tried to get out of bed, only to find that his legs were weak. Then he saw his crutches placed aside, so he picked up one, barely supporting himself, and walked to the toilet sink, turned on the faucet, poured some water on his face with one hand, and looked up to the face in the mirror.

He realized that he was not wearing glasses, so he leaned closer, carefully trying to figure out every familiar and unfamiliar detail on his face, but still couldn't see any better, so he had to give up and moved back to the bed with difficulty.

Then he saw a figure in the door vaguely. He was so tired... but still, he put on his glasses reluctantly, trying to see who it was.

It was Doctor Higgs.

She was not wearing a white coat, instead she was clad in a black suit. Her face was still expressionless, but there was profound fatigue in her eyes.

He felt his head was going to explode. All kinds of weird lights and sounds he was having in his skull... He felt something knocking inside his head. But he tried to support himself with a cane and barely got up.

It did not matter now. They already knew it anyway.

"I need an explanation." He said.

He couldn't describe his feelings in words. So many conflicting and contradictory thoughts and emotions were colliding fiercely in his heart, and he could not name them.

He couldn't even feel anger. Or, he was too angry to feel anything at all.

"Please don't tell me... I just had a dream or anything. I have dreamed too many and too long, I’ve had enough... It's time to wake up. I have been preparing so many years just to wake up from this dream...

"Then I thought I woke up. But it is not like that at all. My identity is fake...or someone has stolen my identity? It turns out that the "self" I have always known is just an illusion? Brian Pasternack...Who the hell is Brian Pasternack? And who the hell am I?"

He waited.

Maybe there would never be an answer at all in the end. Maybe the truth never existed. Ever.

"Maybe you are not 'Doctor Higgs' at all. Maybe there never was a ‘Doctor Higgs' at all."

He was too tired. He knew he had to stay on his feet no matter what, but he was really exhausted. He felt the strength gradually drained from his legs and his heart.

Finally, he gave up, and let himself collapsed onto the bed.

"Doctor Higgs" walked over from the door to his side, and looked down at him from above.

But he had no strength.

For the first time in his mind, "Doctor Higgs" also sat down on the bed beside him. He did not move. This gesture of intimacy was completely meaningless by now.

"Yes. You are right."

"I am not Doctor Higgs."

"There has never been a 'Doctor Higgs'."

Although he was so tired, overwhelmed and confused, he was surprised when he heard this and opened his mouth slightly. He said that out of self-abandonment because he was so lost, yet he was, unfortunately, right. 

But he had already suffered such a ruthless betrayal. He couldn't even tell who was betraying him. He didn't even know who to blame.

He said nothing.

"But you are." said the "Doctor Higgs" who had never existed.

"What am I?" he said, without a single clue.

"Brian Pasternak. You are. You are Brian Pasternak. And you never need to doubt this. Ever."

She tried to touch his hand. But he moved away instinctively.

"Why?" he said. "If that man is Brian Pasternak, then who am I? For so many years, I have been trying my best to regain my life, but now I find that my life has never existed? And... that man's face is so familiar." He slowly stroked his face that had become angular. "And this face is so strange to me."

"There is an answer, right?" He looked straight into her eyes. "And the answer is with you."

"Doctor Higgs" looked away hastily.

"Yes, it is."

"Then I demand you give me this answer."

"..."

"Actually, I knew from the very beginning that this day would come eventually. But in order to postpone this day infinitely, I have been deceiving you... I'm sorry. Although I know it's useless to say that."

He did not speak.

"It all started from the day that you had that 'accident'."

"I kind of figured it out. So actually, I wasn't run over by that tram at all, was I?"

"You didn't even fall off the platform. That 'accident'... was a lie. It never existed."

His mouth opened and closed, opened and closed. He had no idea about what to say.

Maybe his entire life was a lie. A huge lie.

"You successfully walked out of the tram stop and entered the company that hired you. Sintracorp." A bitter smile appeared on the face of "Doctor Higgs", and he was surprised that such a subtle expression should show up on the woman's face. 

"At that time..." She turned her head away, looking up to the ceiling as if preventing her tears from falling, and sniffed. Then she turned to him again. 

"You were so nervous at the time, I could tell. And also very young." She closed her eyes, as if reminiscing about the past. "You were wearing an indigo suit and a red tie. It was something cheap from a supermarket, I could tell." She laughed, with a hint of sob. "And black square glasses...brown eyes." She paused. "A pair of clear eyes, honest eyes..." She lowered her head slightly. "I remember those eyes."

He was silent. In more than ten years, he had almost never seen "Doctor Higgs" show affection. She might be mild and friendly, but they were always separated by the professional distance. But at the moment, "Doctor Higgs" was talking about him, the self he knew too well, with feelings that she could hardly sustain.

All this was wrong. Too wrong.

He still said nothing.

The sky had already gone almost completely dark before he even noticed it. It seemed that his guess was correct. It was indeed dusk just now... But did it matter anymore?

"I was very nervous. I just finished college... and got a degree in Disaggregated Analystics. I studied hard and passed six entrance exams before I finally got the opportunity to participate in that interview. At first, I just kept reciting all those materials I prepared in advance, because I really hoped to show the best of myself in the interview...

He frowned. "Doctor Hicks" was getting more and more absurd. Even if she was not "Doctor Hicks", she must be a doctor of medicine. It seemed that he no longer knew what was happening, and he could no longer understand the logic of this world. Maybe everything was just a big, strange dream in the end, but he couldn't even remember where the dream started.

"Doctor Hicks" ignored him, and continued to speak on her own, as if she was already immersed in her own memories, or was dreaming. "Actually, you really didn’t have to bother with the blonde guy at the time. Categories doesn't mean everything. I was even guessing about your major... but all of my guesses missed. You told me that you didn't have any proper education, only finished your basic education a month ago, and you didn’t have any special talents. But you were directly secured a position in the Sintracorp... You said you was wondering if it was just a joke, but of course, that is not true. In my opinion, since you were able to get this offer, you must be so outstanding, it was just you had not found out about it yet. "

Hicks was still talking, lost in her own thoughts, and he didn't bother to stop her, because everything didn't make sense anyway.

"Then the elevator called my name. "Ms. Hicks, please enter the elevator. "I was such a bag of nerves... Then you said, 'Good luck, Kate.'"

Silver brilliance poured in from the French windows. He looked beyond the window. At some point, the moon had risen. The full moon seemed to rise only moments ago, and he could not recall the last time when he saw such a round and huge moon...he turned back from the windows. Kate’s face was lit up by the cold moonlight, on which the lights and shadows were shifting...Brian saw a young and freckled face, smiling to him through a Not long after this full moon rose, he didn't remember the last time he saw such a round and large moon... He turned his eyes back. The cold moonlight shone on Kate's face, and the light and shadow floated...Brian saw a young, freckled face, smiling at him through a haggard mask.

"Then you replied, 'I hope we meet again so I can invite you out for coffee...'" Brian said without hesitation.

Kate turned to Brian immediately. Their eyes met. The smile in those eyes from Brian's dusty memories and the tears from the eyes that he was looking straightly into finally overlapped each other. And Kate, for the first time in so many years, saw the man from her memories that she spent decades at all costs trying to save and protect. 

They did not say anything.

But it did not matter.

There was no need to say anything anymore.

Kate had almost forgotten about how warm a hug from someone else could be. 

But she would learn to get used to it again.

She would also learn to create truth again.

Brian knew very well that his shattered life was still scattered everywhere, but he didn't seem to feel so lost anymore.

He knew how to put those broken pieces back together again.

And someone else was here right now, and was together with him on that.


	13. Epilogue-the Parsnip Cafe

Sintracorp abruptly declared bankruptcy after controlling the lifeline of the world economy for two decades. Brian Pasternack, the Chief Executive Officer of Sintracorp, announced in the video statement that despite he was honored to lead the world to the summit, he "is not sure if his wish applies to everyone, and I hope everyone can choose their own way of life". On the day this video statement was released, there was indeed some panic and intense chaos, but soon everything settled down. Soon, the traces of Sintracorp ever existed had almost disappeared completely, just as quickly as they first appeared. .  
Soon, no one remembered Sintracorp at all.

There is such a place in this city.  
It was a neatly built white two-story building, with tall ceilings, huge floor-to-ceiling doors and windows and good lighting. At the entrance of the courtyard is a small but exceedingly beautiful garden, which has obviously been carefully maintained. It is really a blessing to have such a wonderful and well maintained garden at the center of this city, and despite that this café is not very famous, anyone who ever passes by accidentally will be naturally attracted by the mellow scent of coffee to this place.  
This cafe has a very peculiar name.  
"Parsnip coffee".  
If you are willing to take a little time from your busy schedule to pay a visit here and have a taste of the coffee, there is more to impress you besides glorious sunshine and delicious coffee served here. You can take a tour around this delicate garden yourself, the café owner and barista, a gentle looking lady with short gray hair, will gladly share her research and taste about coffee with you. The white walls of the café are decorated with many unique paintings, most of them oil paintings, and many of them are strongly exotic. If you are lucky, you might even have the chance to meet the artist who created these paintings, the barista’s partner. His legs are limp so he cannot go downstairs and tend to the business often, so he spends most of his time, drawing his pictures upstairs.  
The mystery of this café is that you may be able to find it one day when you pass by, but you may not find it when you come again trying to seek for it on purpose. However, it might show up again at the moment when you expect it the least after some time. When you meet her again, you might want to ask the barista lady in confusion, “Why didn’t I find this café last time?” She might just tell you that “Maybe you wasn’t looking for it carefully enough” or more often, just smiles it off.  
The background music in the cafe is from an old tape recorder, and the song that comes out of it is also an old song most of the time, the music box version of "Amazing Grace", but few people ever notice this.  
And about when and how can one find this café? Well, I am not sure about it either. Rumors has it that it only appears on the third Tuesday of a month, when the moon is full. Some other gossips are about tossing a five-cent coin, but I don’t know that story. But what I can assure you is: you will never forget about it after smelling the unique aroma of their coffee for one single time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was actually born from a pure smut tentacle fic(The Mouth of the Witch), where Brian did not make it out of HR and suffered many tortures from the witch.  
> But after finishing that story I couldn't stop my spinning brain, at first I only imagined about how Kate would take this when she got to know about it, however my imagination did not stop just then.  
> It went on and on and...in the end it became something so beautiful and glorious that it made me so accomplished and proud.  
> And after finishing this story, I couldn't stop thinking about it again and again, and eventually I realized something.  
> For the past ten years, I have been pretty down from the difficulties I didn't overcome in my life, and I have been suffering from bipolar disorder for many years. At the end of 2020 I thought things could not get any worse, I was drained of all energy, not feeling up to anything at all, even fail to cater to my basic needs...I did not even feel sad, I just felt hollow, numb and nothing at all.  
> I knew things were too wrong. So I took some time from work and went back to my hometown before the pandemic got too serious, and spent some quality time with family and friends, I also had some physical examinations and had some new prescriptions.  
> And by the time I set off to the city I work in, I already started to feel better, and it was on the night when I was on the sleeper train that story ideas started to rush into me.  
> As soon as I got home I started to put those ideas into words. I am so happy to regain this favorite way of self expression of me.  
> And in the end I realized that what happened to Brian in the second half of the story is basically a summary of my life in the past ten years. This story is about regaining your lost self and getting back onto your own feet, and it made me reflect on myself in a completely new way.  
> I realized that I was not like what I have been blaming myself for years.  
> I blamed myself for refusing to get up and move on after failure, but this story made me realize actually I have always been moving along, fighting a tough fight, making efforts, in attempt to get back onto my own feet.  
> And I have already managed it without even realizing it.  
> I am so proud of myself...and I am so happy and found now.
> 
> Also, in the process of creation of this story, I actually planned a completely different ending for this story, where everyone turned against each other, and Kate and Brian became enemies. That version of the story has a lot more dramatic conflicts, and it is more real, not to mention the plot is much more complex.  
> But in the process of writing, the rising sun shed its light into my heart and brightened up the ending of this story, and thus it is what you read now.  
> However I didn't give up on that ending. I like that ending very much as well, and I cannot help thinking it all the time. In the end I came up with(and am still coming up with!)many continuing plots for that alternative ending, and I have started to write that story as well.  
> And despite I said that alternative ending is a bad ending, now after such a long time, I keep on reflecting and rethinking it, adding more things to that story, and now it is not a dark story at all like I originally planned. The ending is still a bit sad, but I can say...it is as bright, hopeful, promising and optimistic as this one, if not more.  
> Please be tuned for the translation of that new story! Will start on that as soon as I finish it.  
> Or you can also read it with the help of Google translate, it has gotten very good at translating Chinese, I have tried it on my story, it got most meanings correct!


End file.
